1086: It's not a comic until you draw something worth looking at.

Alt-text: Ooh, another one. Uh ... the ability to alter any coefficients of friction at will during sporting events.

Oh come on! This isn't even a comic. How far up your ass does your head have to be to think that to be labelled a comic, all your creation needs to be is made by hand in a drawing program?

Yep, it's another one of those and I guess it's my duty to demonstrate how this execution is the single worst one that Randall could've chosen. First, it is essentially a dumb joke about meta-wishes (who hasn't made one of those?) interspersed with shotgun humor, and as we all know by now, neither is funny, especially when done by xkcd. The shotgun wishes especially could be used as setups for a series of comics, depicting the effects of said wishes, but no, all we get is a list of ideas.

What really ruins the comic for me is the format. Presuming the existence of a magical wish-granting bureau is a) something so typically xkcd, and b) a dead horse already. You could've drawn this as a log of a clinically insane man and you wouldn't even have to change anything except for the header.

Also, including a picture of Mr. Hat in the log does not count as featuring a recurring character.

1051: You, sir, have too much free time on your hands.

Alt-text: I hate when I read something like '... tension among the BASE jumpers nearly led to wingsuit combat ...', and I get excited because 'wingsuit combat' is underlined, only to find that it's just separate links to the 'wingsuit' and 'combat' articles.

Oh look, it's another Wikipedia comic. This time it even features Randall's admission that he spends a lot of time reading the wrong Wikipedia articles. Hey, asshole, I have a solution for you! Use that time to do something more productive! Better comics, maybe? Well, at least it is drawn in such a way that the fanbase will have a hard time incorporating this one into the real Wikipedia. As far as I know, no historical figure fits the description.

From the way the article fragment is written, I first thought that the joke was about the completely unnecessary details and that it was a parody of Wikipedia's writing style (which, admittedly, would make this a better comic, really), but no, it's just written that way because Randall needed set-up for his stupid punchline. And that's terrible.

On the other hand, though, the alt-text is kinda funny, which is a rare sight, at least for me. It needs rewording badly (just hire that editor already), but other than that, it's observational humor done relatively well. Too bad it's coupled with a dumb, dumb comic.

----
P.S.: Autoerotic asphyxiation. Because if I didn't mention it, someone in the comments would.

Comic 967: Making Stick Figures Look Even Worse

Title: Prairie; alt-text: Colorado is working to develop coherent amber waves, which would allow them to finally destroy Kansas and Nebraska with a devastating but majestic grain laser.

I was just playing this song on my piano today! GOOMHR!

(No really, I was. Weak.)

Okay, first of all, the observant of you will notice that I've applied the label "art failure" to this review. "Why?" you ask. "That prairie looks pretty good!"

It does. So why the heck do I say it's a failure? Well, just look at it! Because xkcd is a "stick figure webcomic," Randall has to cram his stick figures in there, just like he did with Comic 941. No! You made something nice, Randall! Why cover it up? Why make it ugly?

I know I stopped doing xkcd Sucks Less, but please, for this one comic, take a look at what could have been:


If not for that, this wouldn't be a bad comic! Randall (for once) assumes his readers are smart enough to get the reference, and the alt-text is good alt-text. The joke isn't especially funny, but it's nerdy for for the sake of being nerdy, which is what I'd expect from xkcd. I'd like it and I'd call it a good comic.

But Randall had to ruin the strip. Again.

Comic 950: Zombie Amelia Earhart

Title: Mystery Solved; alt-text: The Roanoke Lost Colonists founded Roanoke, the Franklin Expedition reached the Pacific in 2009 when the Northwest Passage opened, and Jimmy Hoffa currently heads the Teamsters Union--he just started going by 'James'.

Ugh. This comic makes me mad for a couple of reasons. First of all, the mystery of Amelia Earhart HAS been solved, and obviously not in the stupid way Randy is offering. Second, the first panel is entirely unnecessary. In fact, the execution as a whole is bad, but I'll get to that a little later on.

The third, and arguably the worst problem, is the "joke." Amelia, and Randall by proxy, is doing something called "trolling." You say something absolutely and unequivocally retarded, then make fun of your audience for being confused or trying to call you on it. It's like saying, "I've discovered the square root of walrus!" How the heck do you expect people to react? Would a "smarter" person be able to parse that out into any form of sense or logic at all? Anyway, the point is, Randall's trolling. This brings up a rather relevant question.

Why.

Why, Randall, did you feel the need to make this a comic? It's not funny. It's not accurate. It's not relevant. It doesn't have anything to do with romance, sarcasm, math, or language. You're being nonsensical for the sake of nonsensicality (stupid for the sake of stupid, if you will), and randomness by itself does NOT guarantee humor. Sometimes it does. Sometimes, as the same comic shows, it does not. Today it did not.

But, just for the sake of argument, let's say that this was an excellent punchline. You know, hypothetically. If such a thing were possible for Randall. It's still crippled by some of the worst execution outside of walls of text. Why is all the conversation off-screen? Why do we need to be told in such a clunky manner what the plane is or who its pilot is? How would Earhart, now age 114, even be recognizable? Why do we need to be told, word by painful word, every step leading up to the joke?

Look. I'm no cartoonist; I've said that time and time again. Still, I'm going to try my hand at making an actual revision when I get home from work (6PM CST). In the meantime, take a look at this easy, EASY edit to vastly improve the comic.


Look at that and tell me it's not WAY better than the original.


P.S. It's worth noting that this is not the first time that Randall has dug up a dead woman in his strip. Seems like kind of a weird obsession.

P.P.S As promised, here is my edit of the comic.


And before you say, "Randall's looks better," remember that I don't do this for a living. I have a real job.

Comic 940: Randall has Sex

Hey, guys, did you know about this thing called sex? Apparently not only can it be a decent workout, but Randall does it!

Oh, I'm sorry. Was that too much information? WELL TOO FREAKING BAD.


Title: Oversight; alt-text: I felt so clever when I found a way to game the Fitocracy system by incorporating a set of easy but high-scoring activities into my regular schedule. Took me a bit to realize I'd been tricked into setting up a daily exercise routine.

There's a lot wrong with this strip. A lot. You might not notice because of all the STICK FIGURE SEX SCENES (which, as helpful forumite jpk points out, are completely unneeded for the joke), but the failure goes beyond that. Unsurprisingly, it's all in the first three panels.

Okay, I get that Randall needed a wall if he wanted to depict himself making out against one, but make it consistent! Suddenly transitioning to a white void in the second, third, and fifth panels feels odd after seeing such lovingly detailed perspective in the first.

Next on the nitpick list are the setting issues. Why is the book on the floor where it is? Was he reading next to the wall? Who does that? Second, if Randall's checking out a cardio fitness program, he's probably looking to lose a few pounds. Doesn't that make it a bad idea to stand (with a lot of quick motion, in fact) on the very edge of a chair like that? (It does; I've just done some field testing to confirm.) Or...oh snap! Maybe Megan is just REALLY FAT, so the chair stays anchored in place! Clever, Randall, drawing your stalker target as a stick figure so that we can't see the true extent of her obesity. Finally, where the heck is that swing hanging from? Just how high are Randall's ceilings?


Anyway, that's it for the comic itself. However, in this next part, I'm just going to whine about fat people in general (specifically Randall), so if you're in said camp, go ahead and skip this section.

Look. Fat people. Stop trying to cheat the freaking system. You don't need to "level up," you don't need some retarded invite-only social network, and anything "easy" is not going to be high-scoring unless the system is broken. You want to lose weight? EAT LESS. EXERCISE MORE. It's darn simple. Go running, take up a sport (even something simple like club volleyball), cut out the fat and empty carbs from your diet, lift weights, whatever; just DO IT.

Comic 939: Brick Joke

Or, Alt-Text: The Works of a Man Who Sucks at Movie Titles. A man who can't see a joke when it's right in front of his face, COMING FROM HIS OWN THOUGHTS.


Title: Arrow; alt-text: 'The Return of the Boomerang' would make a great movie title.

No, Randall. No, it wouldn't make a great movie title. BUT IT WOULD MAKE A GREAT FREAKING TITLE FOR THIS COMIC, YOU HACK! Look! You have this idea, and in the right context - THIS context - it would work for something! You have a TRIPLE meaning here and you just threw it into the alt-text! What's wrong with you?

1) The comic is about a returning boomerang.
2) The comic is a return to the boomerang comics.
3) "Return of the..." is a common title that you'd be parodying.

Wow.

There's no avoiding it: This comic is awful. It's what Jon Levi would call a Brick Joke; way the heck back in Comic 475, a guy threw a boomerang and it never came back. Where did it go? Well, ladies and gentlemen, here it is. Isn't Randall smart?

Well, no, no he isn't. The original boomerang strips were so bad that they triggered one of Carl's angriest rants. This one is no better. I'm not even going to give him credit for keeping the word count down, because UNNECESSARY DIALOGUE SHOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE FOR A SEASONED CARTOONIST. The last strip put him in some serious debt that he's not going to be out of for a while anyway, so screw that.

So what's the joke here? Simple: There is no joke. There is a reference to an older strip, and referential humor is not humor at all. Remember how everyone was all "The cake is a lie!" when Portal came out? Remember how it wasn't funny? Remember why? It's because simply quoting or otherwise referencing something and not adding into it means you're doing jack in the way of humor. Randall's no stranger to doing jack in the way of humor (counting this post, we've reviewed 27 strips, and 11 of those have had the no joke tag), but somehow, that hasn't ceased ticking me off yet.

There's really not much more to say than that. A guy shoots an arrow and a boomerang comes back. He acts surprised. Why? Was he expecting an arrow to return instead? Did the arrow turn into a boomerang midway through its flight? Did it just drop out of the sky? WE'LL NEVER KNOW. All we know is that a guy shoots an arrow (not a joke) and catches a boomerang (not a joke). That makes it WORSE than the original boomerang strips, which were already all kinds of bad. At least there, the punchlines (something wacky returning, or nothing at all returning) were set up by a guy throwing a boomerang and expecting it back by the last panel. This doesn't even have a setup.

Look. Randall. Referencing old strips that weren't funny will not make you funny. It's a sign of laziness. It's a sign of a poor (non-existent?) sense of humor. It's a sign that you're a freaking hack.

Stop writing drawing posting this garbage.


P.S. Prolific commenter UndercoverCuddlefish notes on the other hate blog:

honestly what makes a brick joke entertaining is the sense of looking back and realizing that the comedian planned for the punchline well in advance

there is a sort of enjoyable release associated with being outwitted by the comedian as the punchline to the brick joke arrives mere moments after you completely forget about the setup

this shit is not even close to comparable

He goes on to make some more decent points, so take a look at the link. I should get him to write guest reviews.

Comic 938: WORDS (about cancer, what else)

Okay, I am seriously about to blow a fuse here. Randall, LEARN HOW TO SET UP A JOKE. This is not freaking rocket science (even though you should be the expert on that anyway, right, NASA boy?) Here's a tip. If you have to cram 120 words into three panels before you can get to the punchline (which, on the Ravenzomg scale of Wordiness™, means you'll probably need a bigger scale), you're doing something way, way, way wrong. I mean, just look at this freaking thing!


Title: T-Cells; alt-text: 'We're not sure how to wipe out the chimeral T-cells after they've destroyed the cancer. Though I do have this vial of smallpox ...'

What is this, Subnormality? Randall, we get it. You read an essay on leukemia (which, according to one forumite, is here, because it's next to impossible to read Randall's "citation" in the strip), and it's all relevant to your personal troubles and speaks to you and whatever the heck cancer articles do for you. That doesn't mean you have to write an essay of your own in response! Yes, okay, you get one point for being current this time (only five days removed!). However, your execution gets about 15 negative points, so you're well below breaking even. By the time you've given me the context for the joke, I don't care about the joke anymore. Here's hoping it was funny.

Oh. The joke is, "It sounds like you're putting something bad in me to protect me from something worse. Are you really a doctor?" Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what vaccination is? Furthermore, the doctor's response is, "Almost definitely," which is just such a load of BS. "Hey, this sounds wacky!" Randall thinks. "Surely anyone crazy enough to suggest it would be so nuts that they wouldn't even know if they're a real doctor or not!" Except, apparently smarter people than Randall have studied this and decided it's worth a shot. In other words, he's talking out of his butt and making fun of things that he doesn't understand. Just a day in the life, right?

I don't really know much about this, so instead of shooting my mouth off about it (like some WEBCOMIC AUTHORS), I'll just quote someone who seems to be clued in to this; namely, xkcd forumer BlueLabel.

I'm sorry but I was pretty disappointed with this comic. I get that Mr. Munroe is probably not a specialist in genetics methodology but lentiviral transduction is a standby technique in biological/life science labs. A perfunctory review of modern gene therapy approaches couldn't possibly overlook this technique. It's a shame that it's been so grossly mischaracterized here. Usually the science jokes turn on the readers' understanding of the concept being discussed - here it's only funny if the reader is ignorant of the technique.

Just to clarify, there is nothing new or novel about using modified retrovirus to deliver genetic material to human cells. This is an incredibly common lab protocol. I was transducing glioma cell lines as an undergrad. That this is what's been highlighted as the innovative aspect of this research is rather shocking to me.

I've bolded a rather important part of that quote. See that? In his webcomic for nerds, Randall is banking on his audience's ignorance. Now, that's not really a surprise if you understand what xkcd truly is. It hasn't REALLY been for nerds since the early days, when he was talking about taking Fourier transforms of cats. More recently, it's just been a big wank-fest for people who think they're nerds but are really just a bunch of antisocial toolbags. But hey, whatever pays the bills, right? Who else is going to buy a T-shirt with nothing but a stick figure on it (FOR FORTY-TWO DOLLARS), just so they can feel like part of some exclusive group?

Okay, in all this ranting, I haven't gotten around to commenting on the alt-text yet. Surprisingly, it's well done. It furthers the joke without being required for the joke, and doesn't explain it or anything like that. Randall gets one more point for that. Unfortunately, his total is still -13. But hey, sub-par is what we've come to expect from this comic, and it hasn't let us down.


P.S. For those of you who don't read comment threads on older posts here, Jon's going to be a bit late with bingo. Something about falling into Eyjafjallajökull or something.

Comic 931: Quite the Turnoff

Title: Lanes; alt-text: Each quarter of the lanes from left to right corresponds roughly to breast cancer stages one through four (at diagnosis).

Man. Now I remember why we normally leave it up to Gamer's neckbeard to review these. Briefly: if Randall is trying to share with us his amazing insights into what cancer is like, the metaphor is clunky and useless and unhelpful; if he's trying to evoke emotion in us, the dullness of the art and writing poleaxes that; and if he's trying to make a joke he forgot to put one in. Unbriefly: read the above but pronounce all the 'a's as 'aaaaaa'.

Comic 928: On Octopiodeses

Raven has apparently committed internet suicide, so I guess I've got to do the reviews from now on. Lucky you.


Title: Mimic Octopus; alt-text: "Even if the dictionaries are starting to give in, I refuse to accept 'octopi' as a word mainly because--I'm not making this up--there's a really satisfying climactic scene in the Orson Scott Card horror novel 'Lost Boys' which hinges on it being an incorrect pluralization."

Okay, I'm going to say it right now. I don't GET this. It LOOKS like Randall drew a bunch of silhouettes and called each a "mimic octopus." Right away, that's not funny, but whatever, that's only the setup, so maybe it'll get better.

Oh.

No, that can't be.

REALLY?

Is that REALLY the joke? That two mimic octopuses look like a single real octopus? WHY?

Look. Immediately prior, there was something that COULD'VE been funny, where you have a single octopus mimicking a whole school of fish. Humor is about exaggeration, and that might not have been a bad way to go. How would it work? Man, I don't know, maybe some guy goes to the aquarium section of the zoo, sees all sorts of sea life, and asks a zookeeper how many animals they have there. He answers "Oh, just one mimic octopus." The alt-text could be, "Actually, there are two mimic octopuses, and he just talked to the second." Is that funny? I don't know, but then again, THAT'S WHY I'M NOT WRITING WEBCOMICS.

I guess I don't understand the attempted subversion. Maybe if the final picture was captioned "Common Octopus," there could have been humor. That's a mimic, that's a mimic, that's a mimic...oh, and that's a real one. Again, I don't know; I'm not a comedian. But why do two mimics look like one normal one? I checked the forums briefly, and no one there gets it, either. Wow. Way to fail, Randall.

The alt-text really bothers me, too. The main reason you should be refusing to use "octopi," Mr. Comic-about-language, is that it's WRONG. No one cares how many nerd points you think you've scored with your stupid Orson Scott Card reference.

Seriously, Randall, get a clue. And then get a sense of humor. And some artistic ability. And a work ethic. Some social skills couldn't hurt.

But most of all, GET OUT OF THE WEBCOMIC BUSINESS.

Comic 926: more like time LORD, amirite?

Hello you cretinous crustaceans, this is Time Raven of Time Raven fame and it looks like you're stuck with me all week because Gamer is off in Holland fixing the Dutch version of the internet, or the "Nethernet" as I believe they call it. The week following Raven's Week of Folly is an adventure in questionable decisions as we let Ann take over for the three updates between the 25th and the 29th. Alternately, if any of you feel particularly enraged kindly send a review to Gamer at gamer2k4[at]gmail[dot]com and he'll maybe post it if it's good. If no guest post appears within 36 hours, that's Ann's cue to write up a filler and/or review! I don't really care either way since I won't be interfacing with web-based technology for a good 6 sequential days.

I'll be rejoining my aquatic-based ancestors in the Deep of the oceans, preparing for the eventual re-emergence of the Dark Order to summon the Gods of Old who will bring their wrath to this World and the puny, flesh-covered Residents that call it theirs. And I guess Gamer will still be fixing the Nethernet. It's pretty damn complicated I hear. Anyways, that's our programme for the next two weeks, after which we'll resume our schedule as normal until Randall Munroe quits or my Masters decide to end Time and Life as we know it.

So, let me start by saying this. This concept is entertaining. The idea of a Time Vulture is kinda cute in a non-sensical way.


Title: Time Vulture. Tooltip: In a way, all vultures are Time Vultures; some just have more patience than others.

However, the fowl gem of brilliance is buried beneath foul refuse of verbosity. This comic is a 4.9 on the Ravenzomg scale of Wordiness™. For our British and Commonwealth readers, that's a metric shit-tonne of words for a comic that small. Note that the last three comics in reverse were a 3.5, a 2.25, and a 2.5. For even more reference, here's a series of comics from the late 800s rated by word density.



Anyways, I could spout numbers at you for ages, but the bottom line: There are too many words in this comic.

And some of them are just weird. "They live for millenia and use little energy". That's sounding really unnatural. Also the first panel, "Dude, you've got a time vulture!" "Holy crap! What is it?" ....It's a time vulture, fucknuts, he just told you. I think he means to say "What's that" or more wordily "What's a time vulture?" which would be okay given that, upon hearing about time vultures, I'd want to say "time vulture" as much as I possibly could on account of "time vulture" being a pretty cool concept. Time vulture. Or, just swap the dialogue.

Also, the punchline is pretty awful. I'm just saying, if you're going to mention the ultimate "killer", you're only setting yourself up for a macabre end, or a disappointment. Guess which we have here.

I mean, let's try this.


Open to opinion whether this punchline is better, but I hope you'll admit that the dialogue is at least slightly less painful.

And the heart of the matter: I feel like Randall has just watched a certain TV Series again, one episode in particular.

Ask any Doctor Who geek, and 90% of the time you'll get "Blink" as their favourite episode. This is how it works. The concept of an ancient creature killing you by just letting you age is pretty terrifying. Hell, out of the first three seasons it was rated the second most terrifying only behind the episode which focused on the antics of the living and original Devil.

This concept is pretty cool, and sadly it's been wasted here.

....Business as usual.

Comic 923: Elements of Fail

This is kind of a dull update for xkcd, but Randall manages to get so much wrong in a single panel and its alt-text that it's worth taking a look at.


Title: Strunk and White; alt-text: The best thing about Strunk/White fanfiction is that it's virtually guaranteed to be well written.

So, Randall's staying up late at night, racking his brain for ideas. I know this because, in my constant quest for timeliness and quality, I tried to stay up until the comic was posted so I could write a review on the spot. I gave up at 3AM. Anyway, sometime between then and the start of my work day, Randall came up with a brilliant (to him) idea: WHAT IF the people who wrote "Elements of Style" stumbled upon the internet and its often stone-age level of communication? Hilarity ensues!

Except it doesn't, at least not in Randall's inept hands. First of all, S&W's editors are NOT the police of the internet, or anything else for that matter. If I wrote "trash need to be taken out tomorrow" on a sticky note, I'm not going to step outside to find an editor sting operation in full force, ready to arrest me for my lack of subject-verb agreement. Likewise, the editors have no such compulsion to point out errors on the internet (which is a darn good thing for their sanities).

Next, of course, is the assumption that there's an official standard for fanfiction reference. I'm sure there's an UNOFFICIAL standard (Raven would probably know better than I {that's like saying there's an unofficial standard for trolling; it just does not exist and instead you have a full rainbow of unique kinds of awful =( -- R.Z.}), but I'm darn sure that you'll never find that standard in an formal writing manual. Probably, you know, because fanfiction ISN'T FORMAL WRITING.

The alt-text furthers this misconception. Since when has fanfiction ever adhered to its source material? I'm no expert, but it would not surprise me one bit if someone paired Chewbacca and Jabba the Hutt together in some awful Star Wars fanfiction. Why? Because they don't care about the source material beyond the fact that it gives them characters and a setting. Similarly, I don't think it's at all out of the question to assume that a Strunk and White fanfiction would be a miserable mess of the English language. You know how there are actual nerds, and then there are Randall's fanboys who just think they're smart but are actually complete idiots? I'm sure that there's a similar disparity between actual grammar and style geeks and the kind of tools who think they're smart but really just write Strunk and White fanfiction.

Finally, don't you think that ACTUAL "Elements of Style" editors would get their grammar right? Take a look at this sentence:

"Strunk and White" should be used for the style manual and "Strunk/White" for the erotic fan fiction pairing.

See the problem? The sentence after the conjunction is a fragment. "Strunk/White" for the erotic fan fiction pairing. isn't a complete sentence. It's missing a verb. This is the sort of mistake that proper editors of such a book WOULDN'T make, but of course, Randall would. Why bother to proofread things, and why bother to make sure your strip makes any degree of sense at all? That's for suckers who actually put EFFORT into their strips, not someone like Randall.

You know, I understand that you have to give a little leeway for humor sometimes. I know that not everything is going to be realistic, and sometimes that's what makes things funny. But that's not how Randall works! For his jokes to be "plausible" (and I use the word loosely), pretty much every aspect of the concept has to be turned on its head, and, on top of that, he gets things wrong that don't need to be gotten wrong. That's what makes this comic such a mess. I do think there's some distant potential for humor by combining style editors and the internet, but this definitely isn't it.


P.S. Looking closely at the text for errors made me realize something: Randall ALWAYS has his quotation marks backwards. Some early jumping around proved that this was a problem at least as early as #148 (incidentally, I now have a source for the retarded word "blag"). That just bugs the heck out of me. It's not just me, right? That's a stupid way to write quotes?

Comic 921: Rivendell Parcel Service

Raven said she wouldn't be able to get a review up until tonight, so, even though this comic doesn't really make me angry, I'll take over for now. I'm sure I'll find something to hate.


Title: Delivery Notification; alt-text: You can arrange a pickup of your sword in Rivendell between the hours of noon and 7:00 PM.

Wow, look at that! Color, shading, passable art in some panels? Which comic am I reading here? Oh. With the level of disconnection the guy's head has in panel 4, there's really no question. Yup, this is xkcd.

Okay, first complaint: The UPS form. I'm not sure how to feel about Randall free-handing it, since perfectly straight lines would sort of detract from the sketchy style of the rest of the comic. On the other hand, the bar code looks absolutely horrible, and there's obviously a pretty striking difference in art once we get to the elves. Okay, he should've used a freaking ruler.

Second complaint: Panels 6 and 7. This is unnecessary dialogue that exists only to set up the "elves make and deliver a sword" part of the strip. Randall SHOULD have expanded panel 5 to the end of the row, and had the guy saying, "The laptop is there. It's mine. I'm going to get it." There would be a beat, then he would say, "I'll need a weapon." That would have the bonus effect of giving more space for the sword delivery panel, which feels cramped as it is now.

Third complaint: The forging montage. It's a nice arrangement of pictures, it's looks alright (for xkcd), and it successfully conveys the feeling of narration over an otherwise wordless scene. So what could possibly be wrong with it? The text. The freaking text. The pictures provide a nice flow. So what does Randall do? He ruins the flow by cramming two sentences above the first image and leaving the last sentence until the third image. And he doesn't even get that right! The first two sentences respect the borders of their image (although I think the second sentence could be fit in two lines). But the third? It overlaps the middle panel! It looks darn ugly. A caption for one image should NOT begin over another one.

Fourth complaint: Maybe I just wasn't paying attention, but I didn't understand the last two panels on the first read. I thought the guy had come back from his trip to the UPS depot, still sans laptop, and as his roommate opens the door for him, we see that UPS tried to drop off his package again and left another note. Can you blame me? It would be funny ("ha ha look at this tool get all worked up and then have nothing come out of it"), and we wouldn't have to explain away the fact that apparently elves use the exact same notification forms as the UPS.

If you haven't gotten it yet, the actual joke is that the elves tried to drop off the sword and no one answered, so they left a note. The alt-text (done right for a change!) helps explain this. And you know what? That's kind of funny! I like that, or rather, I like the concept. It's humorous and it's backed by tolerable art. This could have been a good strip!

But of course Randall, being Randall, ruins it! He spends too much time getting to the point, and by the time we wade through the miscues of excess dialogue and badly flowing text, the punch (and the joke) feel lost. As has happened so many times before, it feels like he had an idea ("what if the elves reforging Andúril couldn't deliver it") but wasn't sure how to set it up. What he settled on wasn't bad, but it could have been better.

Case in point. I see from the xkcdsucks comments that Raven's going to disagree with me, but I really liked Anon552's edit of the strip:



Maybe it's just because the edit changes the punchline to match up with what I originally thought Randall was trying to do, who knows. On the other hand, it gets rid of an unnecessary elf sideplot, clears up the ambiguity in the punchline, and hits a lot harder and faster than Randall's version. It's what 921 should've been.

Why doesn't Randall just get an editor already?