Died in a Blogging Accident has lived up to its name and died... in a blogging accident. That is to say it has concluded. You can still re-live the magic by clicking here to start at chapter 1. For genuine criticism of XKCD, please click the top link to the right (XKCD Isn't Funny).

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Comics 1253-1255: Forever Delayed

Sorry for the long wait. We had a bank holiday here in the UK. Did I mention that I am British? Good.

Next time I delay fail to post a review on time, feel free to complain about it in the comment thread. I like it when I get comments.

1255: Columbus

B- for humour and delivery. The dialog flows quite well, which carries the joke., and the "You first." in the final panel actually makes quite a good (if a little predictable) punchline. I didn't laugh out loud, but I got a rare smile from it.

D for smugness. I should have seen it coming, as the strawman is played by White Hat. But it grates a little that despite the funny joke Randall's original inspiration for the comic was probably about how he should rightfully inform the masses that Christopher Columbus was a fraud, and didn't really direct two Harry Potter movies, or something.

As always, the man is the butt of the joke, and the woman gets the better of him. F for the continued portrayal of women as righteous she-geek goddesses who say and do no wrong. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little, but you get the point.

Something is wrong with the second panel. White Hat should have a speech line, but he doesn't. So it was a little hard to tell who is talking. F-- for quality control. This kind of error is inexcusable, especially when it goes uncorrected for five days. Randall should fucking proofread his comics. It doesn't take long. I write my reviews late at night, so I probably make the occational misktae. But Randall should not be doing the same with his comics. He is the one getting paid.

1254: Preferred Chat System

This is making the exact same point as a previous comic. I forget which one exactly, probably the standards one, of one of the Google+ comics. But either way, it says nothing new. F for originality. 

The punchline almost managed to redeem it, so C+ for punchline. The Harry Potter reference is kinda cute. But even if you didn't know they used owl post in Harry Potter (and to be fair, there are some who don't), it still works as a punchline. So I'd give it B for standalone value.

I have it on good authority that owls can not teleport, even in the Harry Potter universe, so why is it able to respond almost instantaneously? F- for realism. He could have just added a simple beat panel, and it would have improved the pacing.

DETENTION for Gizmodo repost. Guess it's inevitable when the comic is about tech.

1253: Exoplanet Names

Another list based comic. Wow, we haven't had one of those since... last week. Okay, what are its strong points? Well, it's strangely devoid of pop-culture references. It would be so easy to name half of them after planets from Firefly, which would alienate the inferior section of nerds who don't even know the full list of locations from Joss Whedon's opus. He could have so easily done that, and he didn't. That's a solid A for standalone value.

The actual list of planets is fairly bland. I wanted to like this list, believe me. But it somehow feels dull and uninspired. So, C- for humour. It's not terrible. It's just that I feel I could have come up with something better. In fact I'll prove it. Here is my list of names. Tell me if they are funnier than Randall's 
  • test
  • Hell
  • untitled.jpg
  • Urpenis
  • How do I name planet?
  • Help Im trapped in a planet factory
  • Your Mom (F- for missing an obivious your mom joke)
  • Chocolate planet
  • lol
  • Not a planet
  • FUck
  • FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck
  • Cunt-Cunty-Dick-Fuck
  • Giant Testicle
  • iPlanet
  • Planet of the Jews
A* for 'Asshole Jupiter', because That was the best part of the comic.

But, someone had to say it. F for realism. Why is that? People are egotistical, and they would name planets after themselves. If Liz got through the spam filter, then what happened to the other names?

And I almost burst our laughing when I wrote Cunt-Cunty-Dick-Fuck. Seriously, why no swearing? It would have been funny as fuck to see xkcd break out in a bout of glorious gratuitous profanity. If ever there was a time to do it, it would be this comic. Randall thinks he is above this, but he's not (hello, 631).

F--- because the list did not include Planet Of The Jews, which feels like a major oversight.

DETENTION for io9 repost, and a letter to io9's mother. io9 should really know better than to hang around with bad influences like xkcd.


  1. "Help Im trapped in a planet factory" was indeed funnier than Randall's ideas. While I'm here I'd like to add Bloatsburg. That could be a gas giant.

  2. I was surprised he didn't throw in a few "Uranus" alternatives. Urpenis, Urtestes, Urmama. Bad joke, but the concept seems designed to carry bad jokes.

    As for the owl, maybe they're some of those people who stand right next to each other with their smartphones communicating to each other through Twitter and Facebook and everything except actually talking to each other.

    1. My parents do that sometimes. :(

    2. And you call yourself a jew?

    3. And you call yourself a jew?

  3. Your review's late, and I for one am going to complain about it!