1009: If you're annoying enough...

Comic 1009:

title: Sigh; alt-text:"If you're annoying enough, you can get them to respond with an involuntary second sigh and get a rhythm going."

This comic managed to inspire me to make another post... just because I got to use a piece of the alt-text as an appropriate blog entry title. Sorry for the brevity.

1006: You're a douche and I don't care

Alt-text: Roger Ebert once called you directionless and unwatchable.

Hello, dear readers, I'm back after two long weeks of no posts. Yay. The reason for this absence is that the last few strips were pretty meh and I couldn't find anything the least substantial to say about them (and apparently I'm the only one who posts reviews here anymore). Not today, though, because we have a doozy that needs to be taken care of.

So this comic is Randall's commentary on the countless "if they made my life into a movie" jokes, as well as a standard "smart female pwns dumb male" strip. It's strange that the person delivering the verbal smackdown here is a man, but on the other hand since the Featureless Stick Figure screams "author avatar", I can't help but wonder if Randall has unwillingly gotten into a conversation where this line has been said and he only thought of a snappy comeback a few hours later, so he turned it into a comic. See? That's what happens when you draw such a minimalistic comic; people fill the blanks with their own theories.

Although I called the comeback "snappy", it's pretty weak when you think about it. Nobody in movies talks like in real life, and for a good reason, and that includes movies based on real stories. Furthermore, it's ironic that this comment made it into one of the few xkcd strips that actually contain somewhat realistic speech.

The alt-text only reinforces my belief that there actually is a real short-haired, goatee'd man that should feel insulted by it. As it stands, it's decent (for once), but Randall just comes off as a jerk. For that reason, I offer an alternate one: "They probably should've left this scene out."

Honestly, this strip might've been good, but the problem is that the only thing I had been thinking after reading it was "You're a douche and I don't care". That, and it's not that funny, clever, or original.

1001: The real 1000

SinbadEV said...

1001 is hilarious... still laughing at it. Sorry, I'm sure there are ways it could be criticized but I'm not gonna look for them.

Don't worry, man, I got this.

***

Alt-text: 'ARE YOU TURNED ON YET?' 'I DON'T THINK SO--ARE YOU?' 'MAYBE A LITTLE!' 'OK, FIVE MORE MINUTES.'

Okay, as SinbadEV said, this is actually a pretty decent comic. It does have a fair share of problems, but it's still an appropriate "real 1000th strip".

What I like the most about it is its perfect pacing and execution of the joke. The first three panels depict the consequences of a stupid decision (a man and a woman spinning on a bed a bit too fast) and the last panel reveals the decision itself (to build said rotating bed at home after seeing one on TV). Randall even managed to avoid all the usual pitfalls. No post-punchline dialogue, no banner that says "PARTY", no unrealistic speech. Well, okay, it seems a bit stiff to me, but not nearly enough to ruin the comic for me.

The art is pretty good, too, at least for xkcd's standards; I have to point out the ripples in the sheet and the screams of "AAAAAAAA". On the other hand, it isn't very well depicted that the bed is, in fact, spinning, apart from a mediocre blur effect, and the big faceless heads in the first two panels really seem out of place, like in just about any other well-drawn xkcd strip ever.

The weakest past of the comic, though, is the alt-text. It's not funny, it's just really, really stupid. Shame, especially since there are many things that the alt-text could say that would fit the comic a lot better. Here, let me try: "An unidentified flying object has been sighted near Boston. One of the passengers of the circular spinning vehicle has been reported to say 'WHEEEEE!' ".

All in all, this is probably one of the best strips Randall has drawn in years, and I'm glad that it has come right after the horrendous 1000 "comic". Please keep the quality up, Randall.

1000: Why?

Alt-text: Thank you for making me feel less alone.

Today is a big day for Mr. Randall Munroe. His influential webcomic has just hit the big 1000, and he's celebrating it big style - by drawing a big number 1000 comprised of stick figures that represent the past strips, plus a lame "programmers only know 1024" joke.

...

Alright, I'll try to keep this short, so that the others can state their own opinions. To be honest, I was kinda hoping that Randall would come with something big for his 1000th comic. You know, large format, colors, all the recurring characters (all two of them), maybe a return to the very first strip... But instead, we get this. I have never seen an anniversary webcomic strip this self-congratulatory. Sure, many webcomics love to celebrate regular anniversaries (see every 100th episode of Order of the Stick, a vastly superior stick comic), but this is the first time such a comic basically says "Ooh, look at me, I can shit out a crappy drawing three times a week for six years straight, aren't I a cool guy?"

Acosta02 said in the comments for the last article: "XKCD number 1000 can literally only be interpreted as a self-parody, right down to the title text." I wish I could say that I agree, but the way I see it, there is a very real possibility that Randall meant this comic completely seriously.

P.S.: I'm only including the "Mr. Hat" label here because I found him included in the second zero (he's on its 2 o'clock). I didn't find Beret Guy, but I'm sure he's there somewhere, so I'm including him, too.

997: "Randall" is just a few letters away from "random"

Alt-Text: You can't stab Karl Kasell. He sounds all slow and stentorian, but he moves like a snake.

Oh great, another shotgun humor strip, this time about possible headlines for when Peter Sagal does something "newsworthy" (I'll get to that in a minute) in 2012. Okay, no. First, why would Randall need to specify the year 2012? Is the show going away? Or does he believe the "2012 End Of The World" bullshit? Also, Who the hell stockpiles headlines in advance? If something actually happens, any reporter could come up with a headline, especially with such an easy target. Hell, even Randall could come up with enough of them to fill a shitty comic in only two days.

Okay, in Randall's case it was different, because he didn't have to match his stupid headlines to actual stories, and, to be honest, that actually sounds like the point of this strip, "to be prepared for the unforeseen", but in the end it just works against him. First, none of the headlines are funny (okay, the ACCIDENTALLY one cracks me up, but that's because I'm a basement-dweller who finds memes funny), and second, at least one of them directly contradicts the strip's premise, unless of course you think that a celebrity deleting his Facebook account is newsworthy.

In short, this is a very bland comic, with a few awful parts. When will Randall understand that qunatity over quality only works if you have at least some quality? Well, seeing that he's managed to shell out almost 1000 strips on a thrice-weekly basis, probably never.

But I can dream, dammit!

----

Edit: Notorious commenter Michael notes that stockpiling headlines, along with whole stories, is a real practice, employed, for instance, in presidential elections, in order to have all bases covered. However, as another commenter says, I don't think it is done in anticipation of improbable events.

Comic 996: And then it get's weird...

title: Making Things Difficult; alt-text: "Favorite mastectomy breast prosthesis idea: a fake boob containing a spare rechargable battery, accessed via a nipple USB port. Complete with a ring of LED charge indicators in the areola!"


acosta02 said...

I hope I'm not the only one completely disturbed by Randall's "stick men draped in people clothes" style in 996. I understand that the joke only works if you can see them wearing clothes, but that doesn't make it work.

I just can't understand the point of this comic. Okay, okay. It's obvious enough that Randall went to the doctor with Megan yesterday, so we all know the inspiration. But what's the joke here?

No, stop typing your response. There's a tradition that showing a man her breasts earns a woman a string of beads... during Mardis Gras. It's not Mardis Gras. It's not Mardis Gras for another 2 months. You wouldn't do a Halloween comic in Augus- well, maybe he would. Who knows.

Sorry, but I want to go back and mention the stupid first box again. Loo, we get it. Cancer. It's sad, but it adds nothing to this comic at all. In a comic that's already about twice as wordy as it needs to be, this is just more useless information crammed in for the sake of... I don't even know why. Clearly this isn't something that actually happened, so it's not for accuracy's sake. Maybe it's there so that fans can say it's not nice to criticize the comic.

I hate this comic's pacing. All this comic really needs to be is:

"You're looking great! Remove your top so I can check how the incision is healing."

"Sorry Doc, you know the rules."

Then the doctor pulls out some beads and she takes off her top. Also, the comic is published during Mardis Gras to establish context. That's all you really need (also I would change the doctor's awkward dialogue, but I'm just talking pacing).

As it stands now, it's just atrocious. NEITHER line of dialogue is necessary in the last panel, and the third panel actually makes me angry. "This is so ridiculous"? Of course it is, it's a joke in a comic strip. The cartoonists' goal here should be to make the reader think that, not to hamfistedly establish that the joke is funny before you tell it. Imagine a conversation like this:

"Wow man, what happened to you?"
"I broke my wrist and fractured my hip. I'm about to say something facetious, by the way. You should see the other guy."

Alright, that's all I have to say. I'm going to go have nightmares about Megan opening her coat to reveal some kind of wormhole now.

Also this turned out really long. You can use it as a guest review if you want.

Comic 995: Randall draws sound effects.

title: Coinstar; alt-text: "Plus they take like 9%."

I figured out a way for this to be funny... imagine Randall trying to explain this joke to someone.

"Can you imagine if some kid put chocolate coins in one of those Coinstar machines?"
"Heh, yeah."
"It would be all like WHIRRRRRRRR BZZZT KERCHUNK TSHHHHHHCLIKCLCIKCLCIKCLCIKC GRING POP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
"Yeah, okay, I get it."
"And all the chocolate that got stuck in the machine would be like the 9% commission the machine takes."
"*Sigh* Just go make your stupid comic, dear."
"Oh Man! That would make a wiked sweet comic, this guy would walk up to the machine and it would be all like WHIRRR..."
"SHUT UP!"

I will grant that, thanks to my new tactic of imagining Randall trying to explain the joke, I was able to laugh at this comic.